Hand Me Down Love

Being second choice suck! Being compared and lost to looks, suck! Knowing you have the best personality, suck even more! People tell me that I’m not doing much effort. People tell me I am sabotaging my own happiness and a chance of a beautiful relationship (err…) but who am I kidding, I know my place and my confidence is limited. But, yes I do want to love and to be loved, like you? It’s not hard being someone’s precious that worth having and parading around town. But it’s hard to find someone who will be that someone. People play nice. I notice you cringed before me, and took cover when I’m looking. I can hear soft snickering behind my back and whispers of mean jokes of my looks. The way you scoffed and giving off your undisguised disgusted looks. People, what did I do wrong? What do I have to do to tell you that I’m worthy of every love and affection? People, won’t you let me have that chance?

People I want you to know that I am not that kind of a girl that offer sex just because she wants to feel pretty and wanted. I’m not that kind of girl, desperate for a guy’s affection and undivided attention. I’m not that kind of girl who gets her means by whining and sulking, but, I can only imagine how it will feel. Maybe I will learn to like it. Maybe I won’t even act that way, far from doing it. Maybe I will be like someone who is really in LOVE and sincerely passionate. People, I’m not that kind of girl who forces and play mean (well not always). People, I am nice so play nice. I am straightforward, when you say you’re not interested I’ll back off. No returned calls or messages means you are not into me and I’ll move on. When you shut off, well I make myself scarce and stay away from your track. That’s me; I won’t do things that you are not willing to do. It’s not ego, I just know you’re not interested. So there you go, I’d said it!

People, I got it now. It’s not about the looks. It’s not about personality. It’s all about choice and I’ll never be that first choice. We have options and sometime our options range in masses. I might be against 3 million other choices for all know. I get that now, people. But let me tell you this, I will love whoever and whomever. It might be you, him or them. But, never will I hope for a chance because hoping is a disease where it will become and effectuation, and then slowly it will become something else (I’m not sure what yet).

People, I don’t know whether this is the right thing to do, to stop hoping altogether. I’ll get back to you on that matter later.
People, please agree. Love is a subjective matter and we know subjective means personal. Example: I will say I like this kind of guy and turns out in love with a whole different guy. People, we fall in different categories, being in the same categories is a bore. Being opposites spells competition. Being somewhat and slightly same different is an odd of 1:100,000++. So when I say I know what I am looking for actually spells I am scared and clueless. There you go my answer. Am I too subjective or too frank? I am scared! Being like-love-lied to-hurt-dump and the scariest of all is hanging in limbo…when obviously you are unwanted! So! People, don’t trash me but teach me and please be nice to me.