I am scared

It's not one of my nature to be afraid! But I am! It's like going into battle knowing you only have a single bullet left or gambling with a losing hand and the stakes are high. It's not the first and definitely not the last. I'm smart I know I am but time is my enemy. I had been in this situation for many times. I haven't learned from the last mistake and still making new ones! I want to be better than yesterday and it is not easy. Then, to stay in that progressive dynamic is hard! The problem now lies within me and I can't win my own demon and it is slowly getting harder to tame.

Keep telling myself to be prepared, to utilize my time to the fullest. I kept getting sidetracked and now I dread for tomorrow. There's no of use lamenting the lost of yesterdays and all I can do is dwell in the future misery that will haunt me down like a hound dog! Sigh... phrase like good luck means nothing to me, because this is a battle that I can barely win and definitely a shame to be proud of if I got through...it was on a whim of luck, Definitely luck that I will ever need and perchance if I get one.