THANK YOU 2012

This year was a good year...I've got a job that I like. I've got that car I've always dreamt of. I've met that guy, he was perfect. This year was definitely a good year!

The job gets better with time and tasks. The car came later than expected. The guy was a total hottie and a better gentlemen.

This year got better as I grew older. I've learned a lot of my job. I've realized responsibilities doesn't come cheap when it comes to car and that guy is broken and he has someone else...

The job was stressing as I don't know much of it, the car I've always wanted is not as I always imagined it would be. The guy I liked very much got engaged.

This year is a good year. I am definitely a different person than I was before. A person who was easily defeated, who was never thankful and always looking backward instead of being foreward. The car was better, although I didn't get the one I wanted but it definitely was better than what I had wanted. The guy...he is engaged and I wish the best for him because I know something better is coming my way. Smile.

This year was  not a good year to be negative and feeling despondent because I'm in better place than them who are unfortunate. I got a car to go home where I truly belong and spent time with mom and dad before they're gone...It's definitely not a good year to cry over a guy who was never mine to begin with and definitely not a total loss because he was never the one that I really really wanted to spent the rest of my life with. Kan.

I love this year. Thank you Allah for being every step of the way and I wish next year would be as blessful as this year. Insya-Allah. Amin.

You are SIREN

I can't look at you there’s an unsettling wave crashing at my heart every time our eyes met. I feel drawn to you and a silent voice keep shouting at the back of my head to get away. Far away, before it’s too late. The crafty silk thread you weaved dazzle under the light of your brilliant smile and warmth disposition. Playing a tune to coaxed me and I was at that briefest moment almost caught for it. Too intoxicated in my own delirium I missed and crashed awake at bay. I survived to understand that the journey is not as simple. You are the favourite riddle that maze is made to confuse. Like a siren you  lured victims in your wake by charms and watching them drown in the deepest depth of your game.

 

Plan B Caramel Cheese Cake 

LOOK! I GOTTA CAR!!!

A special gift for myself, to feel a little bit of happiness and note to self that its worth it. Yes, finally and about time I have gotten it! I'd bought myself a CAR!!! A CAR!!! Hello world! I bought a car and yes it is an automobile that moves with four tyres, carry real people, people like ME and excudes smoke and eats petrol and its a car! I didn't get a boyfriend for this year but I got myself a CAR!

I can't describe how I'm feeling but I can tell you its scary...Not scary bad but scary in a exciting plus nervous and plus liberated kind of feelings. Get it? Well, yeah...I kind of proud of myself because I got my first car at the age thirty and its really really a mark of achievement in my life at this stage.

I believe the car would perfectly simbolize the journey I'm on and when things gone wrong I can flee or drive away, faraway and nothing can harm me cause I have a car. I can go anywhere without depending on anyone! I don't have to wait anymore! I hate waiting! I guess I am slowly growing out of my shell and slowly making my way through the small cracks into the real world.

Thank you, for giving me strength and believing that I am able to decide for myself and I can do it.

SAD

Words cannot express the feeling of sadness inside my heart…it doesn’t rhyme with the aching feeling I get every time I looked at you. It describe nothing like being forlorn or miserable. I can tell you how it slowly took my breath away leaving me gasping for air. My heart beats faster, eyes wide and glistened with unshed tears. Inhales deep and slowly tears roll down as I release! The pain won't go away and my eyes won't stop crying. Cause I know, theres nothing I can do to change your mind...

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