DEPRESSION

It feels like staring in the dark. You can't see anything. You don't know where to start. You don't know what to focus on. You can feel the walls around you moving in and growing. Suddenly. You have been swallowed whole. Surrounded in a total eclipse. Slowly you merged with the void, inside out. You tried to fight it but there's nowhere to run, nowhere to go. You know you can't escape because you're in it. You won't give up, so you scream and scream hoping someone could hear you. No one came, no one hear you and no one care.

"Help me! Please! Somebody, anybody! Please, help me! Help me!" your hope is running thin. The only thing you hang on to, is a breaking, thinning old piece of rope of hope. You keep shouting your life away, for help. A soft cynical voice within your head whispered in your ears and straight to your heart that no one cares. No one ever did. The people are deaf and blind, therefore they are meaningless as you're meaningless to them.

Its black. It's pitch black. You can't see nothing, not even your own self. You're looking for your hands, maybe you can reach out and find a way to climb out by yourself. You can feel them but you can't see them. It's like they are there but at the same time they are not there almost nonexistent. You started to doubt them, but you want to be free. You know they are there! You can feel, you can feel. They're hiding, yes, they are hiding from you. It's so dark down here, so cold. Why won't they reveal themselves to me?

You started to cry, so you thought you are crying. Because you can feel the tears running down your eyes, warm and wet tears. Your chest starts to feel heavy and heavier, you can't breathe. You forgot. You forgot how you used to be like. You tried to remember, but you can't. You can't or you won't.

You tried to walk, maybe slowly you will find a path or a glimpse of light. You took the first step and you fall. You're falling. You can feel your heart took a leap and pumping twice over. You don't know what to do, so you tried to enjoy the fall. Since it takes you a while to know where will you end up. Ending up dead is better than your current situation now. You can feel the harsh cold stabbing breeze slashing through your body and soul. Its seem to be never ending. Stop!

Why did you take that fall? Why? You didn't know you were going to fall, did you? But you did. There's still a spec of hope within you. You're still waiting for that hand. Not to reach out but maybe to catch you. You're waiting for that loving, compassionate hand to catch you as you're falling to your doom.

Those hands will keep you warm and secured. Loved and pampered. You will hold on to that hand and never let go. they will pluck you out from this horrid nightmare and put you in the light. You will smile again! You will! The same hand that will hold you up and never let you fall again. The hand that will take you to places away from the darkness of your own heart and others. Where could those hands be.. where?