Don’t ask me if you’re fat (”~_~)

INTRO:One fine afternoon on a weekend, Her Man was resting on his favourite sofa reading his favourite sport magazine. Suddenly, His Woman comes in with a big frown on her face “uh-uh” thought Her Man. His woman march across the room towards the mirror and continued to inspect herself. Sweats started to ooze from Her Man’s forehead, silently talking to himself to “Think! Think! Damn it!”

Woman:
Honey, do I look fat? [Looking at her reflection on the mirror at full-length, by the side and at the back furiously in front of her man]

Man:
Nope. [After a quick glance and pretend to read something interesting from the magazine]

Woman:
Seriously…do I look fat? [Starting to get annoyed with him who is not even trying, to look at her with any care]

Man:
Nope. [Look at his woman straight in the eye. Trying h is best to look honest, hoping that the subject will past]

Woman:
I look fat, don’t I…look at me! [Spun around facing him with a bigger frown on her angry face]

Man:
[“Damn, she looks beautiful when she is mad!” he Cursed silently. He looked at her with a slow swept of caressing scrutiny. He was enjoying her body, every curves starting with her face, her chest. Next, her legs and finished at her toes. Surprisingly managed to speak out a controlled monotone voice] You don’t look fat, do I look fat?

Woman:
No you’re not but I … [Her man interrupts her half way]

Man:
[Thinking to himself “This is going to be fun…its pay back!”] Then why do you think you look fat …unless you think I look fat? Therefore, you see me as fat and thus thinking that you’re fat too! DO I LOOK FAT TO YOU? [Trying hard to act hurt and on the brink of becoming hysterical, thinking “did she buy it?” As he bites back the laughter, he manages to make his eyes glisten with a hint of tears about to roll…]

Woman:
What? [Feeling odd, thinking something is wrong but before she can figure it out, her man continues]

Man:
[Gasp! Pretend to have a mini series of attacks] You think I’m fat don’t you? It takes you that long to answer? [Acting more hysterical hope she will buy it this time around]

Woman:
No…it’s just that- [Feeling sorry for her man and angry with herself to hurt his feeling]

Man:
You think you’re fat just because I am fat! [He is having so much fun that he thinks he can get the hang of it “No wonder, woman love to overreact on small-small stuff, this is fun!” He wonders how the making up will be liked, with a big sinister grin in his head]

Woman:
Honey you’re not fat… [Trying hard to make things better and blaming herself. She didn’t know that it will hurt him more than her. “If only I didn’t bring the matter up on the first place! Damn it!” she regrets it, really regrets it.]

Man:
Y..your eye twitched, y..you think I’m FAT and…UGLY! [He threw away the magazine and stand on his feet with his eyes looking down on his supposedly engrossed body. He is enjoying every moment of it! Wondering what would be her next reaction…She looks really regretful though. This should teach her a lesson]

Woman:
Sweetheart…I don’t mean it- [She runs to him and hold his face between her warm palms. Her eyes staring straight into his. She has to stop all this, because she started it. It is just too painful to see him so vulnerable when in her heart he is the most perfect man in the whole wide world!]

Man:
[Looked away, Acting really hurt and betrayed] Finally you admitting it, how could you? [This would be his final charade; he could have won an Oscar for it, pretend to break down and went down on his knees. Releases few excruciating sobs, while his hands on his eyes and starting to rock his body back and forth]

Woman:
God, no… [Swiftly, she sat in front of him and hug him tight as she could. She wanted to give him all of her courage and strength. Her hand is caressing his face, his back and whisper soft loving words in his ears, trying to console him]

Man:
Why, do you think I’m stupid now? [He thought maybe for one last time, just enough for her to do more than just caressing, hugging and whispering soft tender words in his ears. Which, all of that gestures really turning him on but he needs more than that and she needs more reason than this to go all the way]

Woman:
[Slowly removing his hands from his eyes and look deep into those hurt, confused and teary eyes with nothing but love and affection. She wiped away the tears and sat on his lap. Put her right hand behind his head and another caressing his right hand. Slowly trailing kisses on his face... “He is calm now.”]

Man:
[He wanted more, this is just the beginning. Her kisses are sweet and feverish. He can feel his erection and a huge throbbing feeling within him, oh, how much he wants her now!]
Nope, you’re not getting away that easily- [she interrupts him before he could finish]

Woman:
[pulls back his hair with a little force. Exposing his neck and bite it. To shut him up. Then she kiss him full and hard on the lips, open mouthed, tongue and all. She whispered or more like moan on his mouth] Shut up and kiss me back… beautiful and you drive me crazy!

CONCLUSION:His woman slowly slips up his shirt over his body and off his hand, by the end of it both of them are all over each other’s bodies… fat or not.
The end.